So for the third week in a row now, I've successfully managed to *not* work crazy hours. (Granted, this week is only half over, but you know what I mean.) I'm really only working 40 hours per, if you can imagine! Trouble is, I'm still effing exhausted.
It's pretty damn frustrating. I know I'm not sleeping well, which is just the most obnoxious thing ever. It just feels like such an enormous waste of time - spend hours upon hours in bed, and get up feeling just as sore and weak and tired as you did when you laid down. The docs always say, well we can give you something for that. But it's been my experience (and there's literature to back it up) that, while the drugs might make you go to sleep, and even stay asleep, there is nothing but nothing that will make you actually get good, restful, restorative sleep. So yeah, it feels a little hopeless. No one ever wants to admit that there are unsolvable problems, but I'm sorry, there really are.
Let's take today as a for-instance. I spent darn near 8 hours in bed. Got up feeling like I never went to bed in the first place. Went to the chiropractor in the morning, which thankfully alleviated some of the pain I was having at the intersection of my neck and shoulders. (You know the spot.) I had a relatively easy day at work, took a full hour of lunch, and left a mere 15 minutes past the technical end of my workday. And still, here it is not even 6:30 in the evening and all I really want to do is crawl into bed.
I had really hoped that cutting back my crazy hours would give some time back to me, my work, the things I want to be doing. And maybe whenever this phase lets go, it will. If this is, in fact, just a phase and not just the next level of my baseline. Hard to say - only time will tell on that one.
Ho hum, sigh, et cetera.