I recently noticed something really great: I'm remembering things! With absolutely no intention on my part, my near-obsessive need to write down every appointment and obligation in my day planner, my computer calendar, and my phone just sort of melted away. Normally when I haven't thoroughly documented where I'm supposed to be and when, I'm just, uh, not there. I remember an hour (or a day) or two later with a cry of "damnit!" and a wave of that old familiar frustration.
But lately... well, I make an obligation, and then it's just fixed in the day planner of my mind. It's the weirdest thing. I like it. I think I should still write things down, though, just in case. And after all, I do like to have a record of what I've been doing. You know, for posterity.
Now, could this all be because I finally have a more appropriate level of serotonin in my brain? I think it might.
There's just one teeny tiny problem.
I keep forgetting to take my pill! When my doc put me on the Savella and told me it had to be morning and evening, I asked if I really had to take it twice a day. Why? Because I know myself. I am B A D bad at taking morning pills. It took me years to get into the routine of taking the evening pills. Morning pills, forget about it. My mornings are too hectic. Too many variables.
Well, I did alright for the first couple of weeks, but sure enough, as soon as it was no longer a novelty, I began to forget to do it. I've forgotten at least three times in the past week or so! Now folks, this is just not cool. My body isn't particularly fond of this drug. So when I skip a pill, it's like having to go through the titration all over again. It makes me all icky feeling and blegh. The next morning, when I do remember to take one, I feel like I'm coming down with something - what with the nausea and the chills and all. Half my office is sick, and I think, "oh no, I've finally caught it!" And then I remember it's just something I've done to myself.
And so. The memory thing? +1. The forgetting the pills thing? Well, the hilarious irony doesn't really make up for screwing with my body chemistry badly enough to make me ill, now does it. So basically I've just got to stop being such a dork about it and take that damn morning pill.
Ho hum. Self-discipline has never been my strong suit.